Before anything about love, one small correction worth making. Every year on this date a message does the rounds claiming Bhagat Singh, Rajguru and Sukhdev were hanged today. They weren't — that happened on 23 March 1931. Let's not blur two very different things. We can celebrate love and still hold the memory of some of the bravest people this country produced. Today, though, I want to talk about something quieter and just as worth understanding: the way we actually express love.
Most couples I meet aren't short on love. They're short on translation. One person is pouring it out in their own dialect while the other is waiting to hear it in theirs, and both end up feeling unseen. That's where the idea of love languages helps. A love language is simply the pattern of behaviour through which you naturally express affection — and, just as importantly, the form in which you most easily receive it. Broadly, there are five. There's no ranking here, no "best" one. They're just five doors into the same room.
Quality time
For some people, love is presence. A walk in the park, a stretch of nature, an evening at the beach or in the hills, even an hour of Netflix together — but actually together, phones down, attention fully here. If this is your language, it isn't the activity that matters. It's the undivided time. A partner who is physically in the room but mentally elsewhere can leave you feeling lonelier than being alone.
Words of affirmation
Some of us feel most loved when it's said out loud. "You're wonderful." "I'm lucky to have you." Spoken appreciation, sincere praise, being named and valued in front of others. You see a lighter version of this on social media, where people tag their partner and tell the world how fortunate they are. For someone whose language is affirmation, silence reads as distance — even when the love is very much there.
Acts of service
Here, love is in the doing. Making the morning tea, ironing a shirt, packing the office lunch, taking one task off the other person's plate without being asked. Quietly, many homemakers spend their entire day fluent in this language. When you do something for the other person purely out of care, you're saying "I love you" with your hands rather than your words.
Physical touch
For others, closeness is the message. Holding hands, a hug, a kiss, sitting close. If touch is your language, distance and physical absence land hard, while a simple hand on the shoulder can reset a whole difficult day.
Gifts
And finally, the language of giving. A thoughtful present — and "thoughtful" is the operative word. It isn't about price. It's about whether the gift shows you noticed what they like. One small rule: keep it within your budget. A gift given under financial strain carries anxiety, not affection.
Why both languages matter
This is where most of the friction quietly begins. You can be giving love all day and still leave your partner running on empty — because you're handing them your language instead of theirs. The person who shows love through acts of service may keep doing more and more around the house, while their partner is simply waiting to hear the words. Both are loving. Neither feels loved.
So the real work is two-sided. Know your own language, so you can say what you need without resentment. And learn your partner's, so what you give actually reaches them. Read the cues — what lights them up, what they reach for, what they keep asking for in small ways. That's the data right in front of you.
And honestly, if you live well with each other, every day becomes a day for this. Happy Valentine's Day.